Twenty Five and Learning (A Birthday Thought Post)

"Another year to add to my age. 23 years, still wandering aimlessly in this place called life. Should I be here? Where should I go? What should I do? Questions I always ask myself until now. Juggling between so many things I want to do but still can't find where I should really be, what I'm actually good at. or if there ever is something I'm good at."

This was a post I wrote for my birthday 2 years ago. Why does it feel like time flies by so fast? I am now 25, not feeling lost anymore and I don't feel sorry for being myself and what I have become after 2 years. It has been a long bumpy ride to get where I am today. I have worked hard to get here and all the struggles were worth it.

I still can't believe that I am on my silver year now. I feel so old and so adult (LOL) specially now that I live alone in a foreign country. I feel like I'm an entirely different person now, even my friends say so. A lot of them get surprised to see how strong I've become, how straightforward I talk and how at times I become so apathetic with things I used to be so emotional about. Well, life hit me hard on the chest and made me what I am now. It feels so good to be able to breathe after all that though.

I listed a few things that I've learned in my journey to becoming an adult; which I think applies for everyone. Read through and it just might help you out:

Self care is always important. I always tell my friends that the first thing they need to learn before they fall in love is to love themselves, that your self should always come first no matter what. When I started living alone and working hard to earn good money, I realized how essential it is to reward myself for the hard work. May it be a hot bath, a new dress, a nice meal or a good drink, you deserve it. 

It's not bad to be single. Take it from me. I've been single for more than two years now and I have been living the life! Sure there would be times when you feel like you want someone to cuddle with or to receive sweet messages from, but nothing is more important than being ready for a real relationship. Love when you are ready, not when you're lonely. Besides, no one to share food with, more pizza for you. Hehe.

Set goals for yourself. I won't be where I am now if I haven't set goals for myself. I would have been the same girl writing the same post from 2 years ago, lost and lonely. It is important that you know what to do and what you want in life. It gives you the drive to move forward and a guide to where you should go. When you have goals set for yourself the only thing to do next is to push forward and keep going. As they always say, dreams are just dreams if you don't work hard for them and that's what I did. It doesn't end there though, I have new goals set for myself again and I'm still on a roll.

It's okay to cut people off from your life. I remember one of my closest friends asked me the other day "Am I a bad person for cutting off toxic people in my life?" I would have the same answer for anyone who asks me "No, never." When I was younger I had this strong value for memories that no matter what a person did they would still be a part of my life and I'll keep them. May it be an ex lover, a best friend or someone I used to be really close with, I'd keep them in my life (and even in my social media accounts). But people change and that includes how they take things too. I figured out that I didn't have the time and energy to entertain issues and toxicity these people bring to my life anymore  and they are irrelevant now. That it is easier to cut them off, and after I did it even felt lighter, like something heavy was lifted off of my shoulders. There is nothing wrong with cutting people off from your life specially if they are not helping you grow as a person and oftentimes even burden you more and stops your growth. I realized that whatever role they play in your life right now or however long they have been part of it doesn't matter--if they are not good for your well-being, leave them. 

Don't pin your happiness on someone else. Do not rely on other people to be happy. I used to think that I need certain people in my life to stay happy. That I can only be happy by having them in my life or being someone else's happiness but of course I was wrong. You should never put the key to your happiness on someone else's pocket, it should always be you who decides. And as for me? I choose to be happy in my own way.

Don't mind what they say, mind what you do. Moving here to Japan made me appreciate that what other people think of me doesn't matter. That I don't need their approval to know if I'm doing it right. That me being fat for them doesn't mean I'm actually fat. That their opinion about what I do and where I go doesn't count. I was raised by my parents to know what is right and wrong and I know they did a great job in doing so. I don't need other people's validation to live a full life. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. 

Always remember how strong you are. There has been a lot of times when I thought about giving up. Life will always be hard and challenges will come here and there but I am always reminded that I am strong.  How can I not be, I've managed to keep it together for this long. That's what you should always tell yourself too. When the going gets tough, always remember that you are tougher than life. Keep moving forward.

I still don't know everything I need to know. I am only 25 and still learning. I know there would still be more challenges to come and more things I will learn in the future but I am thankful for everything I have and I am focusing on what I have now and the goals I am trying to reach. I hope you guys will always be there with me too.

I celebrated my birthday today with my friends here in Japan and they really did make me realize that I am not lonely here in Japan. This is a very happy day, I'd say one of the bests birthdays I had so far.

P.S.
Dear me,
Happy birthday and Keep moving forward.